The Impact of Loss

I was in seventh grade when I had my first experience with death. A classmate of mine was killed by a hit-and-run driver while on his bike. I was so internally distraught after the visitation that I slept on the floor of my brother's bedroom that night.
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My second experience with death came about six months later, when my grandma died very unexpectedly. She was the best. She wore a denim jacket, and back in the day, it was pretty cool to wear a denim jacket. She let me eat bowls of cool-whip when I was at her house. And her purse smelled like band-aids. To this day, every time I open up a band-aid, I think of Grandma.

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My third experience with death came six months after that when my uncle Lorry died after a long battle with a rare liver disease. I loved being with his family. I remember trips to Okoboji with them, and sledding down their hill, and spending time with them at Grandma's cabin by Lake Mille Lacs in Minnesota. I can still hear his voice saying "Well, hello there, Kimbolee." He had a certain way he said that to me every time he would come home from work and find me at their house.

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I remember writing some dark poems during that time, and living in fear of who was going to be next. God graciously let many years pass before someone I knew died again. But that year had a tremendous impact on me.

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Now, as we are grieving the death of our friends' son, I find myself thinking back to my first memories of death, and wondering how this first taste of death will impact my children. And hoping we can guide them through this in a way that helps them understand the goodness of God even in the midst of yucky circumstances. It doesn't seem fair for a child to have to die, but I know that what we see in part, God sees in full. And I know I can trust in Him in everything. And I know that death is not the end. And I pray that my children will grasp onto that hope, that they will trust in Jesus through any fear or uncertainty that arises, and that they will have joy knowing that eternity is way better than this world for those whose trust is in the One who sent His son to take away our sin.